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Is Your Marriage Operating Off An Old System?

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The other day I was a big fat baby. I threw a temper tantrum and everything. It was cute. Real cute.

The fight with my husband started with a tomato and ended with 20 dollars of neon green poster board that served as our faux green screen in the receptacle.

I’m a super mature Christian. You should totally think I’ve arrived…because I have.

(*Crickets* for like…a long time.) #SarcasmRocks

It was during my “cooling off” period that I saw the WorkDay commercial that helped me understand my marriage situation better than any weekend-long marriage retreat I’ve ever been to.

If you don’t watch the YouTube video above, I’ll recap. You see some people laying in bed looking worried. The narrator says “you’re right…you’re dying…going the way of the dinosaur.” Eventually the message is that the heart of your business is dying because it’s based on archaic infrastructure that that’s been patched all to hell. Think Internet Explorer. It offers a “new” way” of doing business based on an expanding platform that grows with the customer.

But I’m not here to sell the product. I’ve never used it. I’m sure it’s amazing…cuz…you know the commercial says it is. #whynot

As my husband and I rehashed our “conversation” from earlier I used this commercial as an analogy for our relationship. We’ve had a “business” (aka our life) that was based on an old infrastructure. We find this new system…we will call him AppJesus…for funsies.

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We LOVE LOVE LOVE AppJesus. It’s the answer to all our whacked out internal problems. From the moment we download AppJesus, everything into our lives works 10x better. We could NOT be more satisfied…until we remember that we have a plethora of data that is still stored on the old system.

Data like how we were raised, how poor/rich we were growing up, any past struggles that defined us and so on. Our responsibility is to slowly migrate these past files into our new system. It’s a slow and painstaking process. It’s messy.

No one likes data entry.

And you keep finding those stupid hidden files that are named something like “hgcidls209g.dll” and you don’t even know WHAT program opens it. You don’t know if it is file you want to keep or trash.

Maybe you don’t need that .dll file, so you drag it to the “Recycle Bin” and you get the “We cannot delete this file because it’s being used by another program” error message. Uggghhhhh!!! I don’t even have any other programs open!!!!

The temptation is to forgo AppJesus and just work from the old file system — to operate your relationships out of your past experiences, instead of out of the new creation that Christ has made you to be.

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Anyone feeling me?

How long you’ve been in “business” prior to downloading this new AppJesus has a direct correlation with how much “data entry” you will have to do in order to transfer your whole being into this new infrastructure of Jesus.

You are made a new creation the moment you enter into a relationship with Jesus, but if you went to the alter weighing 20 pounds too much, chances are you are going to leave the alter still weighing 20 pounds too much. You will have to work through your fleshly desires minute by minute. Unlike before, though, you will have the power of the Holy Spirit egging you on!

Some transfers are made easy, some are more difficult. When I got saved I was a heroin addict. That desire immediately fell off my life, but my bulimia took longer to “get rid” of. And some issues you don’t even realize are issues until you start digging. Something pokes you in just the right way and you uncover that hidden .dll file in your life that can’t be deleted until some illusive “open” program closes it.

It’s a hard and ugly job…but somebody has to do it. Truly, I wish there was an easy way out — an EASY button. But there is not.

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During my fight with my husband, I failed at relying on my AppJesus. I settled for navigating my life through the old system — my old way of thinking — based on a faulty interface. I wasn’t looking at it from the right perspective. The Bible says:

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed…work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:12

In order to truly take advantage of all God has to offer us through Jesus, the data entry must be done, but we don’t have to do it alone. God not only gives us the ability to transfer our files onto his way of thinking, but he also gives us the desire to do it. Just like the WorkDay commercial: Jesus is mobile. He works in the Cloud delivering information so we can make the right decisions, AND we will NEVER need an upgrade.

God also gives us other people to assist us in extracting our old files. Like my husband. Iron sharpens iron, remember?

The hearts of our marriages WILL die if we base it on the old platform because we will get caught up in the patchwork of our sinful selves. But when we based our marriage on the Bible — on the heart of Jesus’ words — it will thrive more than we ever thought possible.

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You’ll never look at the WorkDay commercial the same again, right?


My husband and I got in a HUGE fight...while I sulked I saw something that helped me understand that our marriage was operating on an old system.

Head covering Christian woman who loves good coffee and stinky cheese. My favorite dessert is Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake. I am a Christian author, blogger, and speaker. I fell in love with my husband because he had rain drops on his glasses (true story). In my spare time I homeschool my seven children (5 girls, 2 boys).


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Leave a Comment

  1. Reply

    Funny, smart and so thought provoking. Thank you! I hope these ideas will immediately pop back in my mind the next time DH and I are having a “discussion”. Bless you, Elaine.

  2. Reply

    I feel like my husband and I have to re evaluate our system each time something changes in our lives, we have moved multiple times over the last 2 years and the title of provider has gone back and forth from both of us. Thank you for reminding me that our marriage needs to be firm foundation of Jesus and the Bible.

  3. Reply

    What truth. And I can always use a bit of sarcasm. 🙂

  4. Reply

    Great analogy!

  5. Reply

    Loved this. Awesome way to think about things… I revert back to old programming all the time.

    • Amanda Calitz
    • November 3, 2014

    I agree that it is a great analogy!