They say, “Opposites attract.”
And I like to add, “…until they go SPLAT!”
While my husband and I don’t fight very often when we do it’s about the same thing…every time: I want to go, go, go. And he wants to stay, stay, stay.
He values security. I value adventure.
Ahhh…married life, right?
I’m only partly joking.
But there is this little (slightly annoying) verse in the Bible that says something about “submitting to your husband”…or something like that, right?
Okay, but for real here. I’m a BIG BIG BIG advocate of submission.
BUT It’s hard for me to submit to him in this area because “going” and “adventure” is a part of who I am…just as much as “security” and “staying” are a part of who he is. Submission to an action, like what restaurant you want to eat at, is easily done…subduing part of your personality (within reason) or heartfelt desire, like having a baby, to someone else’s is an absolute act of love. (Also read this Great John Piper article called 6 Things Submission IS NOT)
And on certain nights (and perhaps at certain times of the month) when I want to GO GO GO…like yesterday, and my husband tells me ‘no’, we just maybe get into a
little massive squabble.
Watch out, mister. Here comes the big-bad-unsubmissive wife!
What can you do?
If you are a Christian woman…before you say ANYTHING, you should pray.
Here are some things to get your prayer started.
Did I mention you should pray BEFORE you say anything?
Six Things to Pray When You Don’t Feel Like Submitting to Your Husband
1. For Humility
The wise King Solomon said, “Pride comes before the fall.”
Asking God for humility is the first step when you don’t feel likes submitting to your husband.
Ask Him not only for the humility to willingly (and happily) submit to your husband, but also for your husband to have the humility to submit to God’s will for your marriage.
2. To Understand HIS Point of View
Oftentimes we are short-sighted by our emotions and our own point of view.
When we allow ourselves to “step into the other person’s shoes” for a moment, we can gain clarity that can diffuse anger and confusion.
Ask God to give you supernatural vision to look at the situation through your husband’s eyes to help you understand his point of view.
3. For God to Show You Any Underlying Issues in Your Heart
Resentment for past hurts can hinder your present relationships.
Whether those past hurts were done by your husband or someone else, it’s important to explore whether or not those issues are casting a shadow on your current situation.
If after praying, you find that some emotional hangup is causing a hindrance in your ability to submit, address it with your husband so he can understand and perhaps help you work through it.
If you’ve experienced severe emotional, physical, mental or spiritual trauma, I suggest seeking out a counselor that could help you work through it.
4. For The Right Wise Counsel With the Right word
The Bible says that we should seek wise counsel. Each situation in our lives or marriage is different and unique. We don’t just want ANY ole’ piece of advice…we want THE piece of advice that will make ALL the difference, right?
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In settings of silver. Proverbs 25:11 (NKJV)
So, don’t only pray for the RIGHT person…but also pray for the RIGHT word to be said in your situation.
5. That the Enemy Would Have No Stronghold On Your Relationship
Marriage is God’s idea. Paul calls marriage “a great mystery” because it shows us the sacred relationship between the church and Christ.
So, if marriage is so super holy and awesome, you better believe that the Devil doesn’t want it to work. He will put A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G between you and your sweetheart that he can.
Pray against it.
6. To NOT Do Anything Stupid
This is my desperate plea prayer.
“Please God, don’t let me do anything stupid. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
Actually, this probably shouldn’t be a prayer I only pray when I don’t feel like submitting…I should probably say it every day…before my feet even hit the floor.
But seriously, ask God to help you not to do anything that you will regret later.
Scriptures to Remember
And remember this verses always when dealing with your husbands:
Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. Proverbs 17:28 (NLT)
A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back. Proverbs 29:11 (NKJV)
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1 (NKJV)
And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men. Colossians 3:23 (NKJV)
Head covering Christian woman who loves good wine, coffee, stinky cheese and missionary books. My favorite dessert is Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake. I am a Christian author, blogger, and speaker. I fell in love with my husband because he had rain drops on his glasses (true story). In my spare time I homeschool my six children (5 girls, 2 boys).