I ate the whole box of Triscuits.
I knew I shouldn’t have taken out the Triscuits from the bags on the way home from H-E-B.
I ate half the box and then sat shocked when I realized that 6 crackers was a serving size that equaled 120 calories. I had eaten 5 servings. That’s like 600 calories in one sitting!
So, I ate four Dove chocolates to seal my fate.
I swore I would fast the next day, to make up for all the extra calories.
Instead, I ate the other half of the box.
The “I ate the Whole Box of Triscuits” Blame Game
What is wrong with me?
Am I PMSing? Maybe…
Do I have Candida pushing me to eat large amounts of carbohydrates…maybe?
There are a million things I could blame my shortcomings on. But what I really need to do is admit that I have flesh. Flesh that needs controlling. Flesh that despite all my many years in therapy, eating disorder counseling and nutrition sessions – still remains strong.
…I am liking the PMS excuse more and more.
I have been eating disorder free for over 12 years.
I remember this time I was walking down the steps of my university and it struck me that I hadn’t thought about what I had eaten that day.
This was a BIG deal – I always calculated and recalculated how much I had eaten before – but God had healed me.
That day was proof.
Sanctification is a Daily Struggle Not a One Time Event
How is it that after all this time I still give in to the temptation to overeat?
As I reached into the H-E-B sack to retrieve the delicious Roasted Garlic Triscuits (yummm…still loving them) something inside me said: “Wait until you are home to eat something.”
But I didn’t listen.
Wisdom spoke and I ignored it. Why?
Don’t get me wrong. I TOTALLY believe there is a time to indulge.
Normal eating includes eating perfectly, but also includes overeating and overeating at times.
We indulge when we celebrate. We restrict when we are sad. This is normal.
But I was neither celebrating nor particularly sad.
The Next Step after Repenting
Fortunately, there is a solution to my current problem.
…Oh…did you want to know it?
(Drum roll, please)
We have a tendency to stay and sulk. We love to rehash our sins and repent for at least a day or so, right?
But if you watch a child after they have said sorry for something they did wrong, they MOVE ON. They don’t sulk for too long afterwards. At the first chance they start giggling and playing.
Jesus said that “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:2)
He wanted us to repent, but to trust him and his work on the cross and MOVE ON.
So next time I buy Triscuits, I will try to remember this, leave them in the bag and wait until I get home to eat.
End of story.