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The Reason Why Your Husband Wants To Quit Homeschooling

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Here’s the common scenario.

A mom discovers homeschooling and tells her husband.

He’s on board. He thinks it’s a great idea. He gives her a budget and she goes happily off to purchase curriculum and homeschool room furniture.

If she has older kids, they are stoked that they won’t have to wake up at 6 a.m. anymore to catch the bus.

If she has little ones, they are happy they don’t have to leave mama everyday.

The homeschool year starts off with a bang.

Things don’t go according to plan…but what part of life ever does?

But something happens along the first year of homeschooling.

Somewhere her husband starts to doubt her abilities or wonders if they children are getting enough education.

The wife begins to feel like she has to defend homeschooling and she’s unsure why.

If the older children are missing their old school and friends, they might sense their dad’s instability in homeschooling, which only make matters worse.

She starts wondering if maybe her husband is right.

Maybe this homeschooling thing was a fluke… or just a season?

She thinks that maybe she’d serve her family better if she sent the kids off to school and just got a real job.

Read Next: How to Homeschool When You Have Toddlers

Why Your Husband Wants to Quit Homeschooling

I’m going to tell you the #1 reason I’ve discovered why a husband wants to quit homeschooling.

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Take a deep breath.

It’s called complaining.

Often husbands don’t realize that we need to vent about our homeschooling day.

We just want some sympathy and a pat on the back saying, “You’re awesome. It’ll get better. I support you.”

Or maybe we want a little help in disciplining the children so they won’t complain so much about their homework.

It doesn’t mean we want to quit. Oftentimes, we over exaggerate the problem or label a day “bad” just because the last 30 minutes were horrible.

But all our husbands hear is, “HELP ME!”

And men are traditionally “fixers”…they see a problem and they are engineered to solve it.

Woman Says: Oh, the kids were awful today. They cried the entire time. I didn’t even get to finish all the lesson I wanted to complete!

Man Thinks: My wife needs help. Our kids are not getting a good education. I must rescue my wife and kids.

If we complain long enough, we’ll start to see our husbands doubting this thing called homeschool.

If we complain about our ability to homechool…he’ll wonder if we are an adequate teacher.

if we complain that our children aren’t getting a certain subject at school and we don’t know what to do…he’ll wonder if they’d be better off at public school where they have “professionals.”

If we complain about our stress levels and say we are thinking about quitting…he’ll want to rescue us from our stress and agree that quitting is a good idea.

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This is especially true for husbands that haven’t been homeschooled themselves because they don’t have any track record to know homeschooling works.

Read Next: Four Tips for Dealing With Homeschooling on Your Period

How to Discuss Your Homeschool Day with Your Husband

Our husbands are so smart, but many times they just don’t think the way a woman thinks.

They need those extra details that women often to take for granted.

You know your best friend who can know what you are thinking without any words? Or your sister who doesn’t need you to tell her that you aren’t trying to be judge-y when you talk about another person.

Most men aren’t like that.

They need the “preface” of a conversation.

For example.

Hey, hon. I’m so glad we homeschool and I would like to continue, but I need help working through this one problem with school.

or

I know the children are on track with their school and I’m sure that I actually am doing a great job, but I’m feeling discouraged that I’m not doing enough.

However we state our concerns, we have to know that our words create a powerful impact.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t discuss our issues with homeschooling with our husbands, but that we need to remember that our husbands might not understand things they exact way we intend them.

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(Tip: If you need a full venting session, call a seasoned homeschool mom and she’ll help you put your thoughts in order so you can talk to your husband without all the drama!)

Read Next: How Homeschooling Protects a Child’s Faith

What If Your husband Still Wants You To Quit HOMESCHOOLING?

Maybe, no matter what you say, your husband still wants you to quit homeschooling.

Personally, I’m for obeying your husband when it comes down to a battle of wills.

If you can convince him to give you one more short, do that, but if he’s adamant, then off to public school they go!

Tis better to have a harmonious house than homeschool the kids with your spouse against you.

That might not be what you want to hear, but I promise it’s the best solution.

And just because you quit homeschooling doesn’t mean you can’t try again later, too.

Sometimes it takes a different perspective to realize what went wrong.

And even if your children never come back home, I want to encourage you that they will be totally fine.

If there is one lesson I’ve learned from a certain infamous homeschooling family, it doesn’t matter how much we homeschool or do everything “perfect” – that doesn’t mean all will turn out well.

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Read Next: How to Survive When You Want to Quit Homeschooling

Rephrase That Complaint

If you haven’t gotten to this point in your homeschooling journey, that’s great.

But no matter if you have or not, it’s in all of our best interest to consider how we talk about our homeschool day to our husbands.

Rephrase a complaint in a way that let’s husbands know that we aren’t looking for a solution, but a listening ear.

If we want a solution, let him know that solution doesn’t have to include quitting homeschool.

And who knows, putting a positive spin on how we talk about homeschool might change how our homeschool days go in the first place!

Read Next: 10 Things You’ll Regret Buying for Your Homeschool Room (Guest Blog at BeautyintheMess.com)

Head covering Christian woman who loves good coffee and stinky cheese. My favorite dessert is Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake. I am a Christian author, blogger, and speaker. I fell in love with my husband because he had rain drops on his glasses (true story). In my spare time I homeschool my seven children (5 girls, 2 boys).

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Leave a Comment

  1. Reply

    This is great. I like how you point out that we rephrase our conversations so that our husbands hear what we are trying to say. I also really appreciate what you say about having a harmonious home. I find that very freeing. Thank ypu

    • Karmin
    • April 15, 2017
    Reply

    Sage advice. I learned this one the hard way, too. I’ll add to this – it’s helpful to ALSO tell your husband on the days when you have an academic success so he has those great days to remember and to remind you of when you’re hormonal, when the evil one brings up all your faults and inadequacies, when YOU want to quit! And something small that’s helped my friend’s husband feel “part” of their school is every Thursday after dinner, they have a “Show-off” where the kids show daddy something they’ve learned. It can be an academic skill, interesting fact(s) they’ve read/learned about, artwork they’ve created, etc. I think it’s really neat; we may some day adopt the tradition in our home.

    • Reply

      I am sniffing a new blog post about ideas to make your hubby thankful you homeschool…feel free to write it for me!